Please check out this link.  These are pictures taken after the Depression in COLOR. Normally, when I look at black and white pictures of the past, it seems like a different world - almost easy and amazing! I find myself often saying, "I wish I lived during that time period." After looking at these, although different, it seems almost relatable - doesn't seem that different in color. Makes ya think.

Captured: America in Color from 1939-1943

Weepy McWeeperson

Feel like crying like a baby?  Check out this comp of surprise homecomings.

"You SUCK, Brander!"

I've had a lot more time lately to think about the different relationships I have in my life. I tend to come off insensitive and crude --to most people, anyway-- but there's one thing for sure: 

I would never go out of my way to intentionally hurt anyone. 

There are people out there who have track records of doing hurtful things to those they "care about" and then expect those loved one's to shrug it off and welcome them in again with open arms. The gal who's reading this knows what I'm talking about, eh, lovie? Those types of "friends" deserve nothing. They want what they want and they don't care who they hurt while racing down the path to get it. Call me insensitive (again) but I think those people deserve nothing. You messed up, deal with the consequences.

Then there are people who purposely go for the jugular. They'll constantly belittle you and everything you enjoy for their own twisted pleasure. This, of course, coming from the same people who say, "you think you're better than everyone else." Nay, you know why? Because (see above) I would never. Go out of my way. To intentionally hurt anyone. You, on the other hand, get pleasure out of it, and I think people like you deserve nothing. 

Both types of people I listed above have excuses for everything. They didn't realize how much they'd hurt the person and they're sorry, or you can't tell the tone via email, text or writing. I'm calling bullsh*t! Ethics are instilled young (at least if you're raised correctly) and tone is crap. What you're typing is what you're thinking regardless. I always type exactly how I speak, so if you get offended by what I say, it's because that's what I was thinking and it hit home, not because, "Oh gee. If I had said that to your face, I would've laughed afterwards, so it's not as rude." 

Time to cut the fat. We've got a lot of work to do. 

You Tell Me Now?!

I was going to write this post about how I'm not feeling myself lately. I was telling my coworker/friend whom I confide in that I feel like I've become the biggest curmudgeon in the last 4 years. He was quick to correct me that I'm not bitter and jaded, I've just lost my confidence. I'd prefer that over just being a plain jerk.


I've been talking to old friends on Facebook. It's amazing how happy I was when I was with them and it's amazing how simply reminiscing about those times brings me to happier place. I must've talked to at least a handful of old friends who admitted to having a crush on me back during those days. That's not relevant to this post aside from it making me feel good, but I thought it was funny because I'm positive it's happened to all of us. 


I'm trying to change direction a bit to get myself back (myself from those happier times) and although I wish it would happen faster, I know it's going to be a slow, annoying, painful process. I'm thankful to have some old friends in my life again. My former roommate/coworker and now semi-boss. I had forgotten how helpful and kind he is. I know that spending more time with him is going to help me get on the path of regaining my self-confidence and increasing my overall worth.

I think he's onto something:

The Worst Kind

Sometimes I miss him. A wise friend told me to write him a letter telling him exactly how he's made me feel over the years, fold it, and put it in my wallet. When I find myself missing him, take it out, read it, and remind myself why I finally walked away. I took the advice and I wrote the letter. I don't think I've ever taken it out to read it, though. I don't know if it's because I lived it and I recall how he's made me feel quite vividly, or if it's because I don't want to relive the way he's made me feel. Either way, the letter stays put.


I applaud myself on this one. This was one "relationship" where I think I did everything as right as I could have. I was very open and honest with both myself and him about what I wanted and how I felt. I didn't get the same in return. I also allowed myself (slash WANTED) to be affectionate with him. He reciprocated usually. I tried to decipher through his mixed-up, mixed signal comments, explanations and thoughts. 

"We can't be together. It would never work." *Kiss*

His career paths were noble ones. In my mind, I turned him into something he was not. I made him better for me than he is. I made excuses for his behaviors: One, two, three, four...one- hundred strikes. Even when he was wrong, he was right. I can't help but think of him whenever I pass his "job."

"You would be the only girl with tattoos that I'd ever like."

Sometimes I would get shut down, put down and held down and then I'd get a gift two days later. I used to think it was because he cared and thought of me. Now I just think it was some form of abuse. A pattern behavior. As honest as I was, I would still get told that I was making things up, that it was all in my head and I was the crazy one. My only response was and could only be: You've treated me like dirt. I don't need to make up more reasons to hate you.
But I don't hate him; I feel badly for him. I just know I can't and won't be around anymore to take the abuse.

Hopscotch

Why is it to take one step forward you have to take two steps back?

I just pressed "delete" no less than 30 times. I guess this is to be continued!

Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome

This isn't new:  I let everything that's good pass me by.  I think it's a disease (or disorder) like hoarding or sex addiction.  I admire those who aren't afraid to be happy and to take the necessary, though not always smiled upon, steps in order to achieve that ultimate happiness. 


I've let my anxiety hold me back from a lot of great experiences.  I've also let the fear of how others would view me stop me from doing things that I wanted to do.  All that's gotten me is a stigma of walking the line.  I'm not Johnny Cash, and even though he walked the line, even he stepped off track. 


I've also let many (and I mean many) great guys disappear because -- simply put -- I just didn't appreciate them at the time.  My stubbornness gets in the way each and every time and then I usually decide that I'd be happier alone in the end.  But really, I don't want to be alone. 


Moving along, I recently thought about an old acquaintance (dare I call him "friend"?) that I had  a few years ago.  Actually, I had thought about him off and on, but when we ran into each other at a store, it was blatant confirmation that I had to rekindle our romance of words.  He was always very kind to me:  always there to throw a compliment (if I were willing to catch), always there to stimulate me (my mind, guys.  My mind), and always ready to lend a logical piece of advice or a hand if there was anything he could ever do.  I took this for granted.  I guess I'm always afraid of leading people on, or turning friendships/relationships into something they're not.


I cut him loose.  Nothing like, "Hey, your services are no longer required," but we slowly just stopped all communication.  And that was it. 


So upon this meet cute we had in the store; although not so much "cute" as we didn't even exchange words, just glances, and we started communicating again, it obviously just wasn't the same.  We had both been through a lot.  We exchanged a few texts here and there, a few emails, made plans to get together to catch up (but not the actual "meet up" plans, the kind of plans you just say you're making, yet never actually do it), but never did we really get back into our old groove. 


I thought about this and confronted him.  I told him I missed talking to him.  I love the way he writes, so I always have a comment when I read anything he posts, but I haven't been getting responses.  What's the deal, man?  He apologized and told me that sometimes he gets that way, but it's by no means my fault and he'll do better.  He promised.  Then he tells me he's moving.  I thought: No!  The only person I wanted to hang out with is now leaving!  Upon further inquiry, he reveals he has a fiance' and a new job.  I can't remember the exact words, but even though it was in writing, I got the indication that I was being a nuisance and this was his way of being rid of me.  The only thing I could think to say was, "Okay. Good luck!"  And with that, I deleted his phone number. 

Why do I feel so dumb, though?

We were always friends, but I'm not sure if we were ever completely on the same wavelength.  I enjoyed his friendship, as I'm sure he did mine but I think at one point there were more feelings there that I never gave the chance to be explored. 


I know he'll eventually read this, and that being said:  I want you to know that I know I have bad timing; I've always been that way and for some reason I don't think I'd change it if I could.  I don't think running into you was coincidence and I was definitely looking forward to maybe starting a more active friendship, but apparently the stars have a different path for you!  I'm sorry I let all these years go to waste instead of just giving you the time and attention (as my dear friend) that you selflessly deserved.  Congratulations! 

Old-en Cartoons-enberg

I have this friend who's going to be shipped off to boot camp come August for the U.S. Navy. I don't know how/why he found these, but I can't stop watching them. He posted a link to a very old Donald Duck WWII propaganda cartoon called "The Spirit of 43." It was barely 6 minutes long, but I can only imagine how many children ran to mother and father upon its ending credits saying, "save for taxes!" 

Then of course, there's link after link after link of more. I watched the Three Little Pigs next.

And of course, you can't forget Donald Duck as a Nazi. 

Can't... stop... watching.

True Happiness

I can't imagine living anywhere else besides here in Florida (at least at this point), but I've also finally come to terms with being able to admit that aside from a boat load of good beach days, I'm not happy at all. 
There are a LOT of people that I've come into contact with throughout this 7 year stint here and they all say the same thing: weather is great, people suck. Yes, I know, I know. It makes me miss the great friends I have in New York - the people whom I'm truly happy around. I noticeably feel like a completely different person with them than I do here, and that's not to discount the few friends I have here. I'm happy to spend time with anyone who has substance!


With that said, I booked my trip to New York for this year's Odiepalooza! Three days of sleeping in a tent, no showering, peeing behind trees, beer, dirt, music and the people who I can honestly say I love.

The real point of this post is for me to physically note how lucky I am to have been able to be with those people so much in these past few months. I was able to see my best friend on my annual October trip, I was flown back up by our wonderful friends for New Years 2010, she drove 3 hours to see me in Boston in January for my birthday and now soon again in mid-July!
While part of me is beating myself up for spending the $260 (JetBlue only, sorry) on travel at this time with my world slowly crumbling around me, the rest of me is reminding myself that you can't put a price on happiness. And they're what truly makes me happy.

 

The Corey's

First of all, R.I.P to Mr. Corey Haim. I hope your drug habit was worth it (and I'll feel really dumb if the autopsy comes back that you were clean). As my Facebook status displays: "Corey Haim was my favorite Corey," but my point is this:

Why are there so many needless deaths lately? Granted, I know there are needless deaths every day, but I don't remember it being like this. I can name a handful off the top of my head (and in no particular order):

• Corey Haim
• Farrah Fawcett
• Patrick Swayze
• Michael Jackson
• Heath Ledger 
• Brittany Murphy
• Casey Johnson
• Michael Osmond
• Andrew Koenig
• Anna Nicole Smith (Even though it was 2007. I just remember it vaguely because she was found down the street at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino.)

Out of the (10) people I listed above - off of the top of my head, remember. I'm very well aware that there are many more and not all are celebrities - at least (8) of them could've been prevented.

Most of the people listed above died of drug overdoses. Those are easily prevented whether battling an addiction, or ingesting a dangerous concoction of prescription medications. Sometimes we take things that simple for granted. I remember when I was on Prednisone and I had a neck ache I was afraid to even take Ibuprofen without asking a doctor. I was afraid of what the reaction of that with the Prednisone could do to my stomach. Sometimes our bodies just can't handle it and we need to take care of ourselves.

Others were suicides, which I feel can also be prevented. There are signs we're told to look for from our peers (click here to read some) and it's important to act upon positive findings. For example, I watched a documentary about how to survive during emergency situations: plane crashes, terrorists attacks (yes, terrorists attacks - they deconstructed how the survivors of the Twin Towers attacks actually managed to make it out), earthquakes, car crashes, etc. One of the segments showed a study that was performed to see how a group of people would react to a fire in an adjacent room compared to how a person who was alone would react. The study showed that when there was a group of people in the room, the fire was ignored because nobody wanted to be "that guy" who made the fuss about what could be a simple issue causing the smoke to come through the doorway. The person who was alone immediately left the room to tell someone when they noticed the smoke coming through the door. 

note: Click here to watch the interesting documentary on how to survive disasters. Interesting watch.

My point being, if we notice suicidal behavior(s), someone else needs to be notified in order to prevent the potentially inevitable. We can't be afraid that the person will get upset or mad or angry because even if they do, they may one day thank you.

I suppose in all is we need to take care of ourselves and each other.

Holy crap, I've turned into Jerry Springer.

(via)

Ellen DeGeneres Has it Right

Along with my short blog about dating younger men, this one, too, is going to seem juvenile.  Maybe it's because my hormones are raging due to Mother Nature saying hello, or maybe it has a little something to do with not having any form of sexual contact with a man since early July of last year (maybe), but I digress. 

Since Comcast decided to butt-bang everyone with no lube and I only get channels 1 through 20, my TiVo has pretty much gone to waste.  There's the occasional House M.D., LOST even though I've given up on it seasons ago, COPS, AMW, The Steve Wilkos Show (and proudly), and now: Ellen DeGeneres.  I've always thought she was hilarious, why not record her show so I can get the giggles when there's nothing else on? 

So, in my few days of recording her show I've noticed that she always has the most current, hottest stars as guests and boy does she own them.  Everyone loves The Ellen.  I've also noticed that every time a hunky actor or musician or athlete comes out for their interview Ellen gets a nice little peck on the lips.  This is regardless of marital status (Drew Brees, Eric Dane, Michael Buble').  Being that she's a married lesbian, these hunky piece of hiney's wives couldn't possibly care, right? 

"*KISS* Hi Ellen, the wife says hello *ASS SMACK*"

 I think you see where I'm going with this.  Pretend you're a lesbian so you can kiss any farking man you want and not get in trouble.  Sign me up.

Random Thoughts of the Night

Do the Republicans who are rambling on about how Obama's doing nothing and no "Change" is happening really expect things to happen over night?  Granted, I'm not much into politics, nor do I know much about it, but I really don't see how much would be different if McCain were in office right now.  I actually felt so strongly about my opinion that I had to consult with a friend who knows a lot about the subject (he's a dork), and to my surprise, he agreed.  So to you, Mr. Republican (whom I shall not name), shut up and collect your unemployment. 

 What's the deal with the Global Warming situation and all of the other random disasters that are going on?  Some say that Global Warming is all a myth to increase sales in hybrid cars, blah, blah.  I also had a conversation with that same friend regarding his thoughts on this.  He said that the evidence of the warming is here.  He visited Alaska recently and they have markers by one of the glaciers on where the water was when they first started documenting and where it is now.  Over the past hundred years or so, it's decreased pretty drastically, but more so in the last few years particularly.  I also asked if it could have something to do with other things, like how we've been having very traumatic natural disasters. Katrina, the tsunami, the earthquake.  We've always had these things happening, but never like how they're happening lately. What's that all about?  His opinion was that we have all of this new technology now and no record-keeping systems and of course - more people.  These events are probably the same magnitude as always, but with all of these elements, they seem worse.  I'm still thinking about this one.

It's Friday. Ghost hunting shows are on the Travel channel and I absolutely love them all.  I may have written my thoughts on this when I first started the blog last year, but I'll reiterate because again, these are my random thoughts of the night.  Who's to say ghosts and spirits don't exist?  I hate relating it with religion (afterlife), but I believe more in spirits than I do a heaven and a hell.  Kind of contradicting, isn't it?  I don't know, but I will say that I have my own opinions on the idea of a parallel universe and intelligent life on other planets and other universes.  Universii?  Galaxies, whatever.  I even had a dream about it one evening and I will never forget it because I want so badly to believe that I actually visited a parallel universe.  You can laugh, I don't give a hoot.  
I dreamed that I traveled back in time to when my father was in high school, I believe.  I was sitting a few seats in front and diagonal of him and I was even so intrigued in this dream to note how he looked and what he was wearing for possible future reference.  Short hair cut, kind of poofy (sorry pops), same dark complexion, blue button-up shirt, light blue jeans.  I also spotted my uncle across the classroom. My uncle recognized me, but my father didn't.  I guess he noticed my staring because we finally exchanged words and as impulsive as I am, I didn't hesitate - I told him exactly who I was.  Of course he didn't believe me and reassured me that he wouldn't have a daughter, especially at the age he'd be when I would come into the world. No matter what I said, the stubborn 18-year old wouldn't budge. Even my uncle who vouched for me couldn't convince him.  The dialogue between my young father, young uncle and I will forever stay with me.  "You'll see..." I promised him.
My father also has certain beliefs in the same theory, but he is pretty sure that I didn't travel back because he had never shared a class with his brother, who was clearly there with us in the classroom.  To me, that makes no difference.  I don't believe that everything would be exactly the same in a parallel universe, but I'm still working on my theories.  I also believe in psychic abilities even though one of my closer friends is a practicing skeptic.  We only use, what? 10% of our brains?  Maybe those who claim they have gifts can somehow use more.  The possibilities are endless and I get gitty when I think about it.  It's so darn cool!  

Anywho, back to Most Haunted.

 

Eureka!

So I had a Dr. House-style epiphany while driving home from the grocery store this evening:

Maybe I should date a younger guy!

Confused? It's quite simple. I've always had a bit of a reputation for liking the older men. My explanation was simply, "what you see is what you get." I liked the fact that the older guys were mostly set - they've done it all and now they're ready for whatever they're ready for. I liked that since I don't do very well with surprises. The only problem was that I would end up feeling suffocated after 2 or 3 months of dating and the relationship would end.


Moving forward, I'm not talking about a guy who's 5 years younger (as 5 years older was no problem for me), especially since I have a younger brother who's 22. But think about it - If I date a younger guy who still likes to have his time to go out with his friends and have a great time, that'll leave more time for me to be alone! It's brilliant!

Viva El Conando!

NBC: you are out of your G.D. minds. Maybe I'm biased because a want a romp in the sack with him, but I think he's fantastic. I find him hilarious and timeless. He keeps up with what's going on, researches his guests and engages. Plus, how can you resist the string dance?

Long live Conan!

Resolution Woes

I love people who make New Years resolutions. I love hearing/reading about what their new goals are for the next 12 months as they pray that it will help to make "a better year." I, personally, haven't made any resolutions in a couple of years and I intend to keep it that way.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a downer and I'm not trying to break the tradition of setting fun or important goals for myself, but I have a whole little common-sensed theory on it all:

Only YOU can make the next year better.

 Thought I was going to say, "prevent forest fires?" Au contraire, although it is true. Stop hoping for things to get better. The only thing that changes is the year. The Earth doesn't reset on it's axis realigning with the rest of the universe in order to magically make a magnetic vortex which attracts positive energy. Wow, that was a mouthful (or fingertip full).


So, setting goals is great and fun, but they're only going to happen if you make them happen. Same thing with hoping 2010 is better than 2009. It's only going to be better if you make it better. Think positively, put yourself in an emotionally better place and then 2010 will be as amazing as you make it!


Happy New Year!

Happy Birthday, Wife!

So, I was at work one day toward the end of November and I get a text from a number that I'm not familiar with. It read something along the lines of:

"Hello, miss. It's your wife's boyfriend."

Hi JJ! He went on to ask me if I would be open to coming up to spend New Years with the crew. Of course I wanted to, but it would obviously be extremely expensive. He explained that it would be a birthday gift for my bestest and he would split it with a couple of other amazing friends. I agreed that if I could get the time off approved, of course I would go.

By November 30th, the flight was officially booked and I was officially going to freeze my butt off with my favorite people. The hard part: keeping it a surprise from Allie. We tell each other everything! There were so many things I wanted to tell her and so many questions I had about New Years that I couldn't say or ask! 


Lucky for me, I had E to keep me posted. I couldn't very well ask JJ, what if she was around when I sent him an email or a text? What if he forgot to delete them from his phone and she saw what I had written? I couldn't take the chance. E and I developed our own code word just in case Allie was around or for E, just in case he accidentally messaged the wrong girl. Afterall, our names both begin with "Al-" and our screen names are dangerously similar. We agreed that we wouldn't mention anything about new years without proper use of the code phrase.

"Tippy toe!"

For the next couple of weeks we talked about how we were going to surprise Al with the news of my coming up. It was especially hard not to tell her when she would constantly tell me she wished I were there, or wished that I was going to be there for Christmas or that I should be E's date for New Years (little did she know!). Eventually, JJ decided that it would be be best if he were to tell her on her Birthday (Christmas day). At that time, there would only be about a week before I would arrive. I told him just to let me know what he needed me to do and I would absolutely do it.

Christmas day, JJ texted me when he was on his way to Allie's to celebrate her 20-something birthday.

"I'll be at Allie's at around 3:30. I'll call you and pass the phone so you can tell her." 

Sure thing! And sure enough, I got the phone call. We exchanged Merry Christmas' and he told me to hold on while he handed Allie the phone. After I heard her nervous, "hello?" all I could think to say was:

"Hi! I just wanted to say Happy Birthday... and I love you... and I can't wait to see you on Thursday."

 The reaction was caught on tape and might I say it was quite hilarious. However, I don't have the code to embed it in this blog. Ho-hum!

See you in a couple days, love!

 

Uncensored: Audacity Awareness

They say when it rains, it pours. In my (un)professional opinion, I'm not sure if it's because a lot of negative things happen at once or if it's because since we're already sensitive from our one bumming event that we just think everything else that follows is negative. 

I consider things to be really "bad" when I feel the need to call my best friend and begin the conversation with, "you're not going to believe this..." Otherwise, things can wait until the following day until I see her on AIM. She also suggested that I write about it and eirgo, she contributed to the title of this very blog.

A couple months ago, I went on a first (and last) date with this guy we shall call Brad. We seemed to have a great time. We talked, laughed, shared a few drinks, shared a snack (I paid) and then we played video games in which I whooped his scrawny butt. All the signs pointed to "GO - collect $200." We even sat in the parking lot for what seemed like two hours talking and kissing like teenagers. The months pass, we don't see each other again, but we continued to talk here and there. He would complain about how he's embarrassed to date anyone because his career isn't going where he wanted it to go, he was 30 living with his parents and he in all felt like a loser. I was supportive and I gave him words of encouragement until he landed his dream job (well, almost) to which I said, "see? I told you things would work out."

In the last few weeks, Brad would tell me he wanted to hang out again, even shared his thoughts about what he'd like to do in a physical sense (oh, behave). He's very charming in a dorky sort of way, so a few nights ago, I felt like playing along with him. I sent him a message asking him if he could do me a favor. My plan was to follow it up with something flirty. Brad's response:

"Make it quick. I have to be up at 5 AM for work."

The only thing I could think to say after that was, "goodnight." Talk about a mood-killer! The next evening, I got an IM from him saying:

"Now I know how you felt after our first date."

I was intrigued! I didn't even know how I felt after our first date. He went on to explain that he went on an amazing date on Christmas Eve and he hasn't really heard back from the girl. He was bummed out because it was the best date he's been on in 10 years. There were several other details and I sat there and read each message with many different emotions swirling around my brain. Is this guy serious? I didn't know which was worse! The fact that he assumed I felt my date with him was the best I had been on in 10 years or the fact that he had the audacity (word of the day) to vent to me about his woes!

I let him have it. Boy, did I let him have it. I calmly (yet firmly) explained to him how silly he was to assume that's how I felt. Not only that, but if he thought I felt that way, then what in his right mind would make him think it would be okay to tell me about his problem? Looks aren't everything, because as handsome as this guy may have been, he definitely wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. The only thing I could think to say after that was:

"Since day one I've been trying to be nothing but understanding and supportive but I can't help but think you're just a dick. I'm going to go ahead and take your advice from last night and 'make it quick.'"

Gone. Deleted. I've seen "He's Just Not That Into You," I don't need this crap!

Two days later I check my messages and I have an email from a dear, old friend whom we shall call Ben. Ben goes on to write that he needs me to disappear from his life because he's trying to patch things up with his wife and he doesn't want any distractions (she's never really liked me - it's more for her). I can appreciate that, although, the night before he was using me as a shoulder and didn't want to lose me again. He also explained that if they were to split for good, he would be back to reclaim his old friend.

I was a little hurt, but I wrote him back telling him that if he were to come back, hopefully I'd be understanding enough to accept. Later on that same day, he sends me an IM saying:

"Of course you'll accept, that's what friends do. We'll have a beer and laugh it off."

The audacity! How dare you toss our life-long friendship aside and then assume that I'll accept it when you're ready to pick up again. If you feel my friendship is disposable, then maybe I shouldn't be so forgiving.

Audacious audaciousness! Do you mooks have any pride?

au-da-cious  /ɔˈdeɪʃəs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [aw-dey-shuhs] Show IPA

–adjective 1. extremely bold or daring; recklessly brave; fearless: an audacious explorer.
2. extremely original; without restriction to prior ideas; highly inventive: an audacious vision of the city's bright future.
3. recklessly bold in defiance of convention, propriety, law, or the like; insolent; brazen.
4. lively; unrestrained; uninhibited: an audacious interpretation of her role.

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Heaven is Convenient

I liked Brittany Murphy. A lot. Since I first saw her. I'm absolutely heart-broken that she left us so tragically at such a young age. It's in these moments that I wish I believed in God because I hate picturing someone's life just blatantly ending with nothing afterwards. I guess this is where my trouble lies.

Hopefully her energy is somewhere peaceful.

Yeah...

(via)

Death Penalty: Sweet Dreams!

I'm typically a classy eye-for-an-eye kinda lady, but I'm still not sure how I feel about the death penalty. I was reading the BBC News and I came across the article about how Oklahoma is finding a more "humane" form of the lethal injection (article here). They say it'll be a more "peaceful" death, whereas sometimes the other form of lethal injection may cause suffocation due to muscle paralysis.

Do I care?! The person is being put to death because they put someone else to death. Odds are they didn't show the same courtesy to their victim. Why should they get free housing and food while they wait for their anesthetic? Yes, they compare the new injection to anesthesia. You will peacefully close your eyes and not wake up. Ever.

Furthermore, do I even want them to die? That's like putting them out of their misery. I'm not religious, so I don't believe that they'll necessarily go to hell. Eirgo, I want them to rot. Suffer. Think about what they've done for the rest of their miserable, caged lives.

But wait, fickle aquarius. No one wants to be told their life is going to end because of something they've done (suicide doesn't count). I'm sure the 10 seconds when the verdict is delivered are the most horrible 10 seconds of their life. My heart would freaking sink if I heard other people were telling me that I'm going to be killed as a punishment.

My tentative solution: Sentencing criminals to death row and not actually killing them. It's perfect! They live their lives out in prison wondering when their day is going to come. I also recommend that they're told they're going to be lynched or mamed in the guillotine. Something awful and gut-wrenching just to add fuel to the fire.

Call me heartless, but for some reason "sleepy-bye" medicine just doesn't seem like justice. It almost seems like a favor.

***Addendum***

It was brought to my attention that I contradicted myself with the housing/food situation. Yes, I do. Obviously felons are going to be placed in prison where they're fed and given a slab of cement to sleep on which the citizens pay for. I just think murderers should be treated differently. I suggested to my dear friend Andy that we throw killers in a hole and let them starve slowly, yet surely. Maybe throw them a few sips of water and a ration of bread like the prisoners of concentration camps were given until they eventually wasted away. Andy quickly put me in my place:

Andy: that's cruel and unusual
Andy: unconstitutional
Andy: if we can't do it to terrorists, who aren't even US citizens, we certainly can't do it to prison inmates who are.

Very well, then.

P.S. You can catch the blog he contributes to here.

I swear I'm Not Drunk, Occifer!

I'm going to give some background even though I don't feel like I have to or that I should. From the end of 2005 until the beginning of 2009 I seemed to have had a strange fascination with men who wear uniforms and carry guns. Hi, I'm Lee and I'm a cop-a-holic. 

Fast forward: a few horrible "relationships" and numerous pleas from family and friends later, I decided to leave that life behind me. OKAY! One minor relapse in June and July (he was wicked hot). Yeah, chalk it up to childhood issues, whatever. No more cops. I get it. Apparently everyone else except me knew that officers have poor track records when it comes to commitment and faithfulness. The only commitment they have is the one to serve. Of course, being a woman, I thought maybe I could change that in at least one of them, but to no avail.

Admittedly, I still look when I see a cruiser and rate an officers good-looks (or lackthereof) when they have someone pulled over on the side of the road. And even today I got excited when I saw a cruiser parked illegally in the fire lane as I was walking into the grocery store. I figured it was a cop stopping really quickly to grab snacks before work as he was close to his jurisdiction. I was hoping to come across him to see how hot he may or may not be and I did - as he was walking down the aisle with a rather unattractive girl. This guy is easily a 7.


Lee's reaction:

 "What the hell is wrong with this girl? Doesn't she know how this is gonna end?!"

Am I genuinely concerned for this poor girls feelings? Am I jealous that she may have found the only decent cop in South Florida? More importantly, what the heck do I care?! I know I'm better off. 

I need to meet a hot doctor. Or a garbage man, whomever's more faithful.