Today I was trying to give my cousin some material that I've written, as he does the same. I had nothing, but I did remember this blog as his mother mentioned it the other night at dinner. I Googled it, found it and I read as much as I could from my 25 year old self (Hi, I'm 30). I laughed aloud and reminisced about the craziness that once ensued. Surely I couldn't let this just sit here unattended forever, but does anyone blog anymore? Doesn't matter, a journal is a journal is a blog is mottled mess.
This evening when I got home I decided to log into this old friend and see if anything magically came out of my fingertips as I haven't had the desire to write in ages. Through multiple failed login attempts I finally realized that the email associated with this account is an old account that I deleted 2 and a half years ago when I met my [now] ex-boyfriend.
There are two points to this story.
- DO NOT ERASE YOUR PAST. You are who you are due to all of your past experiences: Wins, fails, all of it. I have nothing to regret, but I was so afraid that he wouldn't have approved that I erased the hardly used email account (OKAY! I used it mostly for online purchase receipts). This is a regret which in turn dominoes into a learning experience. If someone doesn't accept all of your old battle wounds and mistakes then they're not worth the time.
- THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE FOR RECOVERY. I spent 15 minutes trying to figure out how I could reset my password, but everything led to that sad, deleted email account. I went to Yahoo! to try and pretend like I had never deleted it only to get the message, "Account not yet taken." Apparently, with most accounts, if it's deleted for longer than 3-6 months it's fair game. Dare I try it? You bet! I claimed the old email account, went back to the main Blogger page, once again clicked the "Forgot my password" tab and received the link to reset my password.
We may fall, get bruised or broken, but there's always recovery. A small piece of us may drift away that we never get back, maybe a sparkle or two inside is lost, but within time we grow stronger and brighter than we ever were before. I've missed me.