Monday, November 23, 2009

I swear I'm Not Drunk, Occifer!

I'm going to give some background even though I don't feel like I have to or that I should. From the end of 2005 until the beginning of 2009 I seemed to have had a strange fascination with men who wear uniforms and carry guns. Hi, I'm Lee and I'm a cop-a-holic. 

Fast forward: a few horrible "relationships" and numerous pleas from family and friends later, I decided to leave that life behind me. OKAY! One minor relapse in June and July (he was wicked hot). Yeah, chalk it up to childhood issues, whatever. No more cops. I get it. Apparently everyone else except me knew that officers have poor track records when it comes to commitment and faithfulness. The only commitment they have is the one to serve. Of course, being a woman, I thought maybe I could change that in at least one of them, but to no avail.

Admittedly, I still look when I see a cruiser and rate an officers good-looks (or lackthereof) when they have someone pulled over on the side of the road. And even today I got excited when I saw a cruiser parked illegally in the fire lane as I was walking into the grocery store. I figured it was a cop stopping really quickly to grab snacks before work as he was close to his jurisdiction. I was hoping to come across him to see how hot he may or may not be and I did - as he was walking down the aisle with a rather unattractive girl. This guy is easily a 7.

Lee's reaction:
 "What the hell is wrong with this girl? Doesn't she know how this is gonna end?!"

Am I genuinely concerned for this poor girls feelings? Am I jealous that she may have found the only decent cop in South Florida? More importantly, what the heck do I care?! I know I'm better off. 

I need to meet a hot doctor. Or a garbage man, whomever's more faithful.

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