Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Depression is expensive...

Is it in the genetic make-up of our (women) DNA to automatically have an insatiable urge to SHOP when we're not having a good day?! Not only that, but it seems to get worse, to boot! What ever happened to the time when it was satisfying to buy a $10 shirt when the school cafeteria ran out of chicken nuggets?

Then, we unknowingly graduated to $25 handbags (on sale, of course) when we had a stressful day at work or in class. And we can't forget the $30 jeans when Douche McDouchalman dumped us for the skank at the gym.
Note from Management: I'm what I'd like to call "a bargain shopper."I refuse to buy $100 jeans or $400 handbags.

Hi age 25! My, how you've snuck up on me. Sure, I have $65 for a new pair of sneakers because Prince Charming decided he didn't want to return my phone call... all week. What's that, alloy.com? You also want $65 (shipping included) because I'm confused about my feelings for Captain Always-Up-Me-Arse? Absolutely. Oh, I could never forget about you, Old Navy and U.S. Tops. Together I shall give you $35 because for some God awful reason I thought it'd be a good idea to start talking to my ex-boyfriend who treats me like dirt. And you, Target - let's get one thing straight: I don't need you for anything other than the fact that Dexter Season 3 has just been released and I'd buy that whether I was in a pathetic melancholy trance or not.

I think rock bottom will be when "Confessions of a Shopaholic" makes complete sense, and admittedly, I can empathize with some parts.

Who can afford to be morose with the state of today's economy? Oh, the irony.

Does anyone have any ice cream?

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